Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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