i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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