Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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