Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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