Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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