in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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