is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
