For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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