it hurts more in the daytime
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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