i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
