Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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