if i died would you start the facebook group?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
