I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
