Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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