If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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