Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
