Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
