i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I supernannyed him into submission
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
