He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
