I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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