I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
