Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
