who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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