I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
