I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
