Just cropdusted the office
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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