The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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