Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
