how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
