So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
