i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
