not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
