I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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