Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
