i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
