your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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