3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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