I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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