just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize