Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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