I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
