he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
