Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
