We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
