from now on my penis is your penis
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
