I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
