On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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