This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
