okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Randomize
