the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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