So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
