What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
