Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
