we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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